irishmalcolm

Well, of course it's neither a new term to me, or even a theory. But for someone to insinuate that it is a male problem and that in her opinion she has never seen a woman enter A.A. who needed a little ego deflation is just ridiculous. A reading of A.A. history will show women were more than coffee makers from the start. Henrieta Siberling, Anne Smith, Lois Wilson, Sister Ignatia, Nurse Edna McD., Ruth Hock amongst others. The Grapevine is named as being started in '44 by Marty, Priscilla, Lois K, Abbot, Maeve, Kay and Grace O., all A.A.'s and the majority women. Pages 23-24 of the text book "A.A. Comes of Age" makes no reference to women sitting on steps. It does say that Al-Anon was planned at an early stage by Anne, Lois and Katie (wife of Dr. Earle M.).

If we are to believe (and I do) that our problem centers in the mind. And the ego is a process of the mind, of our natural instincts, our God given drive for security in our Sexual, Social and Security needs. When out of kilter they "have warped us" (12x12 p.43). Hence our "character defects", "shortcomings, "human liabilities" leading to the destructive manifestations of Self. Women, as much as Men, are subject to the same natural instincts - specific to the needs of there Gender (as are Men). I have yet to meet anyone new to A.A., to whatever degree, have these in harmony with themselves and other people. This is the rational behind, the very reason for, a written 4th step inventory. To take a look at our resentments (social), Security (fear) and Sex (Sexual identity). In speaking with my many female friends in AA, it is clear that the Ego (and I really hate the negative connotations the word has taken on) when dominating their lives, has had an extremely negative impact on their lives i.e. how it has affected their self image as workers, girlfriends, mothers and other roles. How alcoholism has affected their sexuality, and how often that can be a very serious source of shame or guilt (especially when abuse or exploitation has taken place). And how it has left many with deeply embedded feelings of loneliness, guilt and vulnerability. Many have shared about the guilt of being female and alcoholic; that Male alcoholism is more acceptable to society. i don't see gender as a reason to differentiate within recovery any more than race, age, sexual preference, disability or any other reason. I don't care for sweeping generalizations, I prefer to see mutual support and respect between all people in recovery.