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Old 03-30-2009, 08:55 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
sfgirl
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: San Francisco, CA
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I'm 27 and I think the way in which you approach her really depends on what type of relationship you have with her. With my own parents, I always had inklings that I had a problem, but if they had approached me aggressively or in some ways it might have made me go f*** you instead of taking it to heart. But then again I don't have the type of relationship with my parents that is very emotionally close so I don't know.

I think what Anna said is really important: you can talk to her about it but until she wants to help herself there is nothing really you can do. My parents definitely saw me overdo it quite a few times, but remember she is young too, it doesn't necessarily mean she has a problem. I don't think my brother and sister have problems although they have overdone it at times. I personally think that focusing on the drinking initially is wise. There is a wide amount of social pressure already about weight, especially with women, and it is a more cut and dry issue, so she is probably already aware of it. In a way I might have been angry too if my mother had ever come to me and said you should slow down your drinking or I think you have a problem oh and by the way you'll get skinnier, but again that is partly because of my own family dynamics and the fact that I think my mother has sort of warped body-image views.

Maybe you could buy her a book and just hand it over. I think a good first book is Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp. It is a memoir about a young high-functioning smart journalist alcoholic who gets sober. Although all these suggestions are in the frame of my warped non-communicative family dynamic....
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