Thread: survivor guilt
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Old 03-29-2009, 05:20 PM
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GiveLove
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
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kiwihoney, I'm so sorry for what you're feeling today.

All I can offer is that today it is very raw and painful because he has opened up the old wounds again. And just like a wound, tomorrow it will ache like crazy but feel a little less raw.......and the day after that it will hurt less........ditto the day after that......today, though, is very bad, and I understand.

The thing is, you're doing the right thing. In LOTS of relationships with alcoholics, we suffer from the equivalent of survivor guilt. Heck, I have lost my fantastic two sisters to the disease, and the battle with survivor guilt was horrible.

The only thing I can say is that you are doing the right thing. Six months' sobriety is the absolute minimum I'd even CONSIDER, and these days it would be more like two years, if at all........I have simply seen too much, and no longer have the heart to suffer the kind of damage alcoholism inflicts.

You may love him, but you love yourself more - you HAVE to love yourself more. The pain you're thinking may happen if you go back is a very real part of being with an addict. I could have sacrificed my entire life to the addicts in my life, but came to realize that was not what I was put down here to do.

Breathe deeply, try to get a good night's sleep when it's time, write in a journal about what you have saved yourself from, and what you plan to do with your one "wild and precious life". Pray that his HP will guide him to long-term recovery, and let him go. Here's hoping that you will find your way back to feeling OK again soon

You're doing the right thing.
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