Thanks everyone,
there is some really useful info there, and I may join that organisation Mr B, I've flicked through their website, and quite apart from all of this, they seem to have a good agenda. AH has now agreed to be tested if he wants to take the kids out without me there, and at the moment to see them when he finishes work 3 days a week for 1 hour or so here.
I'm not sure I'm comfortable with him seeing them here, but I can change that later if it doesn't work out.
He still says that he is going to give up. going to, going to...
Think about it this way: Would you leave your kids with a babysitter who was known for getting drunk on the job??
.
I have asked him this: who would he leave the kids with who drank the way he did and didn't see aproblem continuing that whilst they were in his care.
I don't remember what answer I got tbh, I think he may have agreed. still drinks though.
I'm sorry Daisy, Chrysalis and MrB, that you are working your way through this too.
He went to an alcohol counselling service once but honestly, although his family know that he has problems, I doubt any of them would stand up and say anything, they would see it as shameful. Friends just think he's a heavy social drinker, although I doubt any of them with kids would entrust their's to him. He has lost/walked out on jobs because of booze etc but managed somehow to keep getting references.
No police stuff that I am aware of (although he insists that he was under surveillance at one time (<rolls eyes>) he doesn't drive.
his GP doesn't know, he won't take medication that has been made by a pharma company. And I've engineered our life here so that he has no responsibility and therefore can't pubically f*** up anything. well done me.
however, he is happy to be tested at the moment, so although I don't want to do that forever (and neither does he) I can deal with the future when that comes. For now this will do. thanks for helping me walk through this.