Chiy~ Thanks again for all the support and for sharing some of your story. Im sorry about your g-pa passing, but I am glad that you two were better off beforehand. :ghug3 My mom and I had quite the relationship also...yelling..name calling at times. I am thankful that before she passed I spent a decent amount of time with her. I knew she was still getting high but I just knew that she was getting older and that if I wanted to spend time with her I would just have to do it. I was able to say somethings that I needed to say which is good. Of course though I feel that she passed way before her time. Still to this day I wish I could call her up for something as simple as a recipe and be able to hear her voice.
One outcome from the dysfunction between my mom and I is that I am not very comfortable around most women. I have been this way since I was little (was raised by my dad). I look out at the entirety of women on the planet and I feel like they all belong to this secret club. I stand alone. Its like the feeling that they all know some secret that I dont. Obviously since I was raised by my dad I have never been a foofy girl. I dont like pink and actually I usually preferred to wear black when I was growing up. Quite the tomboy actually. I cant say that this is why I feel that difference though. I have known other tomboys and ... still... I felt like they were a part of that ever elusive club. I have just recently been able to articulate this so I still have plenty of soul searching and digging to do.
Last edited by lunarise; 03-26-2009 at 05:59 PM.