Your not alone. I am grateful my grams only drinks and gets drunk maybe twice a year now. And it is very stressful for me. There are some threads here when she has done it.
And its sad to say that. But its better than all day everyday like it was growing up.
I didnt have my father growing up because he was always locked up and drunk. My mom has been missing since I was 5. And so she is all I had.
My grandfather was an allday everyday drinker and a mean one too. He would do some horrible things. And I spent a great deal of my teens and 20's in a hateful relationship with him. Not until we found out he had 6 mos to live did we put our differences aside and act like a family. And i heard the words I never thought I would ever hear out of his mouth. "I wish there was something I could do to help you." Usually he called the cops on me and stuff like that and called me names. It took something like that to bring us together. Death can be very humbling. As bad as that sounds.
I dont want my grams seeing me like this til she dies. I cant let her think I never amounted to anything.
I am sorry I just rambled about my stuff. But you made me think about alot ofthis. And thats a good thing.
I feel like a child all the time.
But we work these things out. As long as we can stay clean and do the right things. I know anything is possible.
And it all has to start with forgiveness IMO. Forgiveness with ourselves and anyone else we need to forgive. We cant grow with those chains holding us hostage.