Originally Posted by
TryingSoHard 
No one has ever seemed to take care of me to the extent that I take care of others. I don't know if that makes sense or not... But it's like, I always seem to go "above and beyond" and do all the little things to make sure my friends and family are happy and well taken care of. But when someone has to take care of me for a change, it's as if I get the bare minimum. I won't be left to starve or dehydrate, but that's about it.
I feel so out of the loop. So disconnected. Here. With my best friend (if I can even call her that anymore). With my mom and dad. With everyone and everything. I don't feel like I BELONG.
(((((TSH)))))
I can kinda relate to this, but in a different way perhaps? My sis is special needs. She was in a car accident when I was 13 (nearly 15 years ago), and has never fully recovered from her head injury sustained in that accident, and after that I sort of had this caretaker role shoved onto me because she required so much attention. It was never something I wanted to do; my own needs (basic parenting/guidance, and even just a night of teenage normalcy once in a while) were not met, but I had to help take care of her instead. I've worked very hard to understand that my parents were doing the best they could, but I still resent it and probably always will.
I end up at the same place though: feeling like I've been taking care of other people at my own expense, that I don't really mater so much to anyone including myself, and feeling disconnected.
I don't really have any practical advice other than its ok to feel that way and it helps to just take a day and do what you want. Leave hubby in charge of the kids or whatever and take a day for yourself. Maybe explain to hubby that he will be helping take care of you if he takes the kids for a day while you go to a spa or take a walk around a park or whatever fits your fancy.
And keep posting, of course.