Katie...my 2 cents for what it is worth. I don't like much of what aa teaches, I find the program seriously flawed and the excuses made for the obvious flaws redundant. However I am sober...you my friend, have been abusing alcohol for 32 years from your account of the situation. 32 years is a long time to have not found a solution that resonates for you. Your focus needs to be on what works, not on what does not.
I don't drink Katie...that's what works for me and many sober SR members...it's a proven method and works 100% of the time.