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Old 03-15-2009, 11:58 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
sfgirl
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 679
I'm such a hermit! I even use the word as a verb and tell people I am hermitting. Yep and it has almost been six months. Right now I am sitting here on my computer debating whether to call my friend who left a message saying he is in town from New York. I don't know if I am up for it. For what? Brunch?

Anyways the point is I think it is so normal. I used to be a social butterfly of sorts and now it is me and my dog. I actually think that this is more the "real me." I realize now that when I do go out and socialize either I don't have as much fun as I do at home reading or on the computer or watching television or it just takes a whole lot of energy out of me. I think I needed alcohol to sustain myself socializing before. I just can't do it anymore. And I am fine with that. Also, I think recovery takes a lot out of me. I am constantly thinking or maybe meditating is a better word for it. I spend a lot of time going over my life and my new patterns. I am very into myself right now and very content alone.

Granted I say all this and I actually do live in a pretty busy neighborhood and I walk my dog all the time and I end up running into a lot of people that I know and my dog is so darn cute that he gets a lot of strangers' attention. So I am not completely in bubble and I think if I was I would be more depressed because even as it is I think I am coming up on the point where soon I am going to want to diversify my activities of basically sitting in front of the TV. And I do go out with friends on occasion it is just at such a different pace than pre-sobriety. I think I am also realizing thought that it is much more normal. The rate at which I was out and about before I got sober was not normal. Most people did not socialize quite so much, did not need to be surrounded by others to feel comfortable. And now finally that I feel comfortable at home, alone, it is like a little blessing and I am enjoying it. And my little dog helps immensely.
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