About the original topic: I started having bad anxiety and was diagnosed with premenstrual dysphoric disorder a few months after I met ABF. It was so bad that I freaked out over absolutely irrelevant things (for example I was terrified of getting a disease that I could not possibly get or about getting deported when there was no reason whatsoever in sight) and once a month for a week I was a hormonal wreck. My doctor put me on Zoloft and it worked wonders (still does). After a little while ABF told me that he was about to end the relationship because he could not take it anymore. He said: "I know it's not your fault, but when you get into that state of mind, I get so anxious and worried that it makes me sick." And it was perfectly fine for him to say that and it would have been perfectly fine if he had left me (we used to joke that our relationship is sponsored by Zoloft).
My point is that nothing is only about ME, whether it be addiction, anxiety, illness, etc. when these things are connected to making healthy or unhealthy choices There are always people who suffer with us and while we have to ultimately make the decision about our lives, we cannot expect people to accept this decision and suffer when it's healthier for them to detach. Would a mentally healthy person want compassion from someone when that compassion makes them miserable, depressed, ill, or all of the above?