Originally Posted by
Katie09 
Thanks for the link. Looks pretty good. The only thing that makes me quite nervous is that they have 12 step meetings onsite. I don't want anything to do with the 12 steps, and especially after this experience.
There was another rehab but I forget what it's called in Malibu. The psychiatrist is an atheist and they are not 12 step at all. Yunno, when I told her about this place she told me this place was a 12 step model. Of course, who to believe, someone who wants me to come to her VERY expensive facility or this facility who at the time told me they had alternative groups to the 12 steps available (I thought that meant like alternative groups onsite). I didn't realize they'd have to scramble to put together some hokey schedule to include things like massage therapy and nutrition and general support groups in the community. Additionally, there was not one SOS, SMART or LifeRing groups in the area, so I don't know how I was to specifically address my addiction.
There is wanting what you want and then figuring out how to work with what you can get. Part of me debated posting a link of another rehab but I do fully believe the
hustle can happen. I use to work for private criminal defense attorneys and the amount of sleaze that went into the sale disgusted me so much. Especially when dealing with issues of life and death (rehab/criminal defense) I vehemently do not believe that anyone should be toyed with or sold a bill of goods.
I posted the other link, not as an endorsement but as an example of a rehab that does not push the 12-step model on its clients and serves your needs. It deals with dual-diagnosis issues and offers attendance to LifeRing and other meetings as well as an emphasis on finding your own path which very well does not have to be AA. From their site:
"
The Bayside Model recognizes the effectiveness of 12 Step programs like Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous, but we do not teach the 12 Steps as part of the treatment protocol. Residents are able to do that 12 Step work at meetings or with a sponsor, and we prefer not to charge for something that is so readily available for free. Even though we have several on-site 12 Step meetings per week, The Bayside Model recognizes that the 12 Step programs don't work for everyone. Some clients are interested in exploring alternatives to AA, so we make the literature available and take those clients to other meetings like LifeRing and SMART Recovery. Our intention is that clients develop a sober support system that represents a philosophy and structure that will work for them for the long term."
Now, Katie, you cannot have your cake and eat it too. You would like to follow your own path and that is swell but there are others who would like to follow the AA path. To demand a rehab with no 12-step meetings at all, while I am sure they do exist, seems silly at this point. AA meetings on site that are not compulsory or even encouraged should not deter you too much from a rehab. Other people would like to follow their own path as well and that as you know might be different than your own.
The thing is you can rationalize everything to high heaven. You have come here and given reason, after reason for everything. I used to rationalize all my controlled drinking strategies, why I did want one at the end of one night, why I would not at the end of another, why one system would work and the other wouldn't but at the end of it all I was just little running circles in my mind for nothing. I could make an argument for anything. You have to stop your mind from coming up with all these arguments and just give up. Alcohol is beating you up. You can't make the world fit into what you want it to do. You have to take it as it is. Priority number one— get sober.
Also I had major issues with 12-step in the beginning. I ranted to my therapist about it in month one. She looked at me and took a more tolerant attitude and now about 5 months later (yes, SailorJohn, I apologize that my sobriety time may not allow me to have enough wisdom to speak) I find myself fascinated by many aspects of AA and still turned off by others. Point is— I am way more open minded. I am not saying that will happen to you or should happen to you, but I found that rigidity and rigid thinking was a condition that started to fall away the more I got sober. And for that I am thankful.