Oh I can give you the short version (which will still taske up a lot of space).
Remember a lot of this will include insights I have gained since I left and divorced now xAH but you'll get the general picture. I am a work in progress and the way I tell my story changes each time I do because of new knowledge of myself I have gained.
I married AH at the age of 48, a second marriage for both. Looking back I married for all the wrong reasons and ignored all the red flags I did indeed see but pretended weren't there. I knew he was alcoholic, that he had anger issues, that he verbally abused his 3 daughters but I pretended it wasn't that bad. THe whys behind my choice, well those I can get into later perhaps.
Things were fine for 2 yrs. He was a functioning adult, he was part of the family, he gave of himself in his own dysfunctional way. I knew things weren't great but they were ok. I wasn't real happy but I was settling.
Then he got fired. I can't be sure but it was likely related to his alcoholism and it resulted in him being blackballed from his profession in the legal field. He started off job hunting, internet only 'cause he had seen it work for me, but never got anywhere (that's where the blackballing fits in). Slowly he changed from a fully functioning partner to a man who did nothing but sleep and drink. He consumed mass quantities of alcohol and I do mean mass quantities. He slept most of the day, stayed up most of the night. He stopped doing things around the house. Hell he stopped taking care of his personal hygiene!
I tried to talk reasonably. I threatened. I screamed. I ranted. He didn't change.
It took me 2 yrs to get to the point where I had had enough. I finally realized I was being used. I finally realized I was enabling. I finally realized the man was not ready to admit to his alcoholism and certainly not ready to seek sobriety. I admitted my love had died somewhere along the way and that the marriage was dead. I realized I had to get out before it ruined my life further and before it influenced my teen son who lived with us any further.
So I left. Without warning (well beyond the numerous warning I had given that I was close to leaving and couldn't take it any more). My credit rating is in the pits. I lost probably a couple hundred thousand on the sale of our house (was within 1 week of the foreclosure sale). But I thank God everyday that I found the strength to leave and take care of me and my son.
I began working on me the day I left. I started dealing with the issues from my childhood resulting from being raised by 2 active alcoholics. I began understanding why I was willing to marry an alcoholic and accept the unacceptable. It has taken a whole lot of hard work and pain but I ahve some understanding of my own issues and I continue to work on them. I figure maybe by the time I am a little old lady I will really understand. I have strengthened and deepened my faith in God. I am happy. I didn't recognize that feeling at first that tells me how bad off I was. I keep moving forward and wouldn't change a thing.
In case you want to know, a year and a half after I left xAH is still drinking, is still unemployed as far as I know, apparently has liver disease, and is now leeching off his elderly mother. He has been through a number of online romances I am aware of thru a poetry site he used to write on. I used to check periodically 'cause he also wrote hate poems about me and I considered using them in the divorce if it had proven necessary (it didn't.)
So that's the condensed version that really isn't short.