Strange things happen when we suddenly begin saying "no" and setting boundaries. The people around us are accustomed to the "yes" man so I can see how this change would throw off friends and family. By the time I realized I could set boundaries, I was 36 years old with an extremely demanding family, string of failed relationships, low self-worth, etc.
Once I realized I had boundaries as an option, I said "no" to everything and everyone. Sometimes it was just to spite those whom I had ever-so-codependently done so much for. Had to work through lots of resentment because I felt played. But the beauty of all this is that I came to realize that I had just as much to do with my situation as anyone else. I played a vital role in setting up my place with family and friends. Deconstructing that was not graceful. I made myself the "go-to" person for everything and everyone. Otherwise, what value would I have had to anyone? This was my mindset and now I clearly see how unhealthy that is.
Sometimes it feels strange, like a pair of pants that don't fit just right but I know its the right thing to do. Sometimes I still cannot believe I didn't know I had the right to say "NO".
Much Love!