I was pretty quiet last night. Not silent treatment quiet, I answered questions and made small talk, but it was obvious that I was upset. I wasn't ready to talk about it because I was still gathering my thoughts, but he asked me to "have a word with him" this morning.
He was immediately upset and said "If you are in love with someone else, then just get a uhaul and move out, because I can't stand to have my heart broken". He said me giving him the silent treatment and putting him the wood shed for no reason was unacceptable.
I brought up that he was drinking the day after we had the big talk about drinking. He went on about he is adult and willing to make reasonable accommodations for my feelings but that it is unreasonable for me to expect that he's going to stop drinking 100%.
Via email and phone we've discussed that he does not agree that he has a problem with alcohol and that he feels I'm projecting my fears and anxieties from my mother onto him.
His main argument is that I wasn't being a healthy partner last night by giving him the silent treatment. Admittedly I was pissy and I did not tell him why I was upset. As I have explained to him, I was upset and trying to gather my thoughts before I said something about it.
He maintains that he loves me. He said it was only 2 beers (I'm pretty sure it was 3 and I told him so). He said he put it in the stein because he didn't want to make me uncomfortable (apparently the container is what was causing me the anxiety).
He said it was asinine that I went on dates with him and drank and sat at home with him and drank then "all of the sudden" I've got a problem with drinking.
I reminded him of the conversation from a couple of months ago where we'd argued about beer drinking, and again explained how I was trying to be reasonable and not uptight about the drinking because at first I assumed I was projecting. I told him that I apologize for the way I handled things last night but that doesn't take away from the validity of my concerns.
We just got off of the phone because as he summed it up "I don't think we have anything healthful left to say to each other right now". He knows I've been very ill and I have a terrible headache after a terrible night sleep. He said we'd talk later.
My thought is.. how about I'm not here to talk to.
I have places to go.. I'm not sure I want to take that step yet. This is a defining moment. If I let this go now, I have to deal with him drinking in whatever quantity/frequency he deems acceptable, or I leave.
Ugh. My face hurts.