My husband is going to AA and I'm going to Al-anon. If I wasn't working a program then it probably would be over. He still is very up and down. I've seen an addictions counsellor who said the withdrawl effects could be up to a year. I guess that is why the program usually suggests no major changes in the first year.
Happiness is an inside job and for all that my husband can be a jerk at times, I'm getting good at detaching with love. After living with an addict, I truly understand the saying "No one can make you feel bad about yourself without your permission." You don't have to take his negativity or attitude on board. I know it is easy to say that but hard to do. What helps me do it in practice, is to work my steps, understand my defects and in doing that, I gain insight into others. Just work your own program and I'm sure in God's time, the answer will reveal itself as to whether you can stay in the relationship.