Originally Posted by
SleepyCherie 
Update: He made it a bit over 24 hours. I was in the bedroom getting my daughter ready for bed and I heard him quietly "set" an empty beer can in the recycle bin. When I got done getting her down for the evening, he was on the couch with a stein half full of beer. Since then he's added another can to it.
I know I said I had low expectations, but am I just flat out stupid? Should I be giving him a buffer of time to undo a behavior he's had for years?
Oh, Honey. I am so sorry. First of all, his PROBLEM does not make you flat out stupid. You have had to stomach quite a blow here. And it is not your fault. You clearly communicated. His not appearing to HEAR or CARE is his crap.
Now you need to take care of yourself and not do any negative self-talk. That only re-injures you. There is nothing wrong with your expectations, your communication of those expectations, or your deep disappointment when he does not live up to those expectations. This is his failure. Not yours.
I am so, so, so sorry. Right now, I am thinking about you and wishing you a soft landing. Take care of yourself and keep posting and sharing here. There are so many people here with so much wisdom and experience.