As a newcomer to this site and sobriety in general, I have been struggling with a dilemma regarding face to face group meetings. I live in the buckle of the bible belt, and have at least two dozen AA meetings to choose from each day, some with as many as 100 people, but have found only one other type of meeting, SOS.
After 2+ weeks of exploring at least one meeting per day (5 different groups) I found I simply cannot endure AA. Not only do I not buy into step one, I don't buy into AA's mantra that I shouldn't dwell on this, as it will eventually happen. I am going to make damned sure it doesn't happen. I am in charge of my drinking and sobriety, and refuse to turn it over to a higher power even if one exists. This BS that a higher power can be anything...such as the group, is cute, but the idea that a group of other human beings has the power to control my sobriety and remove my defects is nuts.
I recently found the one and only secular recovery group (SOS) here, and have gone to 2 meetings (they only have 2 a week). I was one of 4 people at the first one, and one of six at the second one. At the second meeting, when I mentioned AA, I found that 4 of the other 5 attendees attended AA meetings regularly, saying the SOS group allowed them to go to AA and "Take what I need, and leave the rest". For me, doing this would mean taking...well...nothing.
I think I've found a group of "meeting addicts" and am beginning to wonder if I am exposing myself to more potentially harmful than helpful information, even in the SOS group. I don't see what it is that I am supposed to take from these meetings. I'm not looking for new friends. I'm not about to go hang out with other attendees outside of the meetings. I don't want a "sponsor" or whatever the SOS version of that is. I don't need anyone to call when I feel I want to drink.
I welcome your feedback. I'm especially interested in hearing what others feel they gain from the in-person group experience. Even if you are a fan of AA, feel free to speak up. I'm not here to bash anyone. I'll do that behind your back.
