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Old 03-09-2009, 07:14 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
slc1123
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 1
First time on this site.

I found this site while googling. After 10 years of drinking, I finally realized that I have a problem. I always hid it from certain people and I only drank on the weekends. I have young kids and I hid it from them. Only my husband, my brother and my sister and friends know that I drink.
Whenever I drink I overdo it. I always say to myself that I will not overdo it this time and I always do. It wasn't until a few days ago, when I went to a club with my sister for a happy hour that I realized that this is wrong. I got so drunk that I kissed another man apparently and passed out at the bar. My sister and her friend had to drag me out of the club and my husband had to pick me up. He said a police officer saw me screaming and yelling and stopped him and asked what the problem was. He showed him our IDs and he let him go. I went into the house screaming and throwing things, apparently.
I woke up the next morning totally confused. The last thing I remember was going to the bar.
I dont go out drinking that often. I usually stay home and drink with my husband and wake up confused. But this time everyone saw me and now it seems like everyone knows that I have this problem. I have never been more embarrassed about anything in my life. I told my husband everything and he says that its okay but I know its not.
So the only way to stop this from ever happening again is to stop going out and stop drinking altogether. My husband is upset that he couldn't be there with me. Clubs are just not his thing. Neither is drinking. But he said he would go with me if I had to go. But I have no desire to go at all.
I hate who I have become and what happened. I hate being this way. I feel like the only way I can relax and have fun is to drink alcohol. I just hate myself. I always have felt this way.
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