Has anyone heard of Vigabatrin? or know of anyone that tried it for crack cocaine or meth addiction?
I wonder what I used to do without google? =)
I try not to cry over this but I don't seem to have much luck.....it's either I cry it out or I call him and see how he's doing and I said I wasn't going to contact him for awhile.
I did call his mom though and my feelings just sunk further about this. She was telling me that he got hooked on crack in his mid 30's (he is 46) she doesn't know how but knows he used to smoke pot....well, I guess it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out...
Anyway, according to her he was at his lowest and supposedly hit bottom about 5 years ago when he had pawned everything in his house and using almost everyday.
She picked him back up. She got everything out of the pawn shop and sent him to rehab. At 1 point he made his 1 year mark but that changed to him occasionally using. She has sent him to vocational school, he obtained his pilot license/and instuctors license but shortly thereafter 911 occured and that put him out of business.
According to her she has done everything humanly possible to help him, everything but "let him go". Yes, she knows of enabling but she says that is something she simply cannot do. There is no way she can turn her back on her child. She knows what she is doing is wrong, but she feels so bad for him she can't help herself. She said it's different when it's your child and much harder for you to turn you back on them, although she knew of parents that did that and she felt it only hurt the addict worse. Especially since her son is a "closet" user, doesn't go to crack houses, doesn't binge for days at a time (least not anymore)
I dunno......there were so many excuses and head in the sand. I didn't want to speak up and say much. I kinda felt she needed to get this out and it wasn't the right time for me to step up and offer any different insight.
She said the only thing left she can do is pray, that she prays everyday that God will intervene and step in. However, she also said that the only person that can stop him is him. His choice. She believes that he is not your typical user, he doesn't look the part nor does he act the part. She feels its all "mental" and he can stop if he were to want to. That when he was going to the meetings and following the program he would stay clean.
This woman gives him the world and she has told ...wait, begged him to quit, if nothing else to do it for her because if he were to die from an OD it would kill her too.
She seems to believe it's not that bad anymore, certaintly not as bad as it was 5 years ago.
I think she saw me as some sort of hope or rescue for her and for him. She felt that I would/could be the one that would make him stop if he was happy and had a girlfriend that loved and cared for him and he wasn't alone all the time.
I couldn't help but think......this is why he is alone, that he chooses his pipe over a relationship.
I told her how bad it made me feel that he chose this over me, she knew that it had nothing to do with me and everything to do with him, she knows all the answers because she has researched like I have, yet the one true answer to maybe help him......she cannot and will not do.
I feel so much pain for her plight....I really do, I have a son who's been in some serious trouble years ago and I did for him but not on the same level as she does......I let my son go for 3 years and he came out a man.
My abf is a Journey Plumber and has been wanting to get his General Contractors license but it's very expensive to do that and of course he hasn't saved up enough money....so here is her new plan;
She is going to pay for him to get the license...around 2500.00 to buy the books and materials he will need to study. It is her hope that this will occupy his mind and give him the feeling of being independant and cure him of his addiction.
After 3 years of being with him and coming to love him greatly I know there is no future for us. I am not going to drop out of his life completly at this time that would be too hard to do right now.
I'm not sure what I am going to do.
I am numb.
I'm afraid to see him because he will feel that everything is ok and it's not. I'm afraid not to see him because he will forget about me as long as his mother is there to hold his hand.
I feel used and betrayed.
and even worse
I still care for him