I know everything you've said is true, sad, very sad but true.
I'm sure I am not going to be good enough of a loss to be considered a serious consequence, that hurts but I'll figure out how to deal with it. His mother is never going to stop enabling simply because she cannot deal with the pain that will go with...so he will never stop, he will never change and I have to get that through my head or yes, I will end up losing my self respect.
He mentioned him not wanting to hurt me from his using, he goes so far as to say this is it, this is the life of a crack addict.
Then he will turn around and be so loving, caring and thoughtful...
This tells me how he knows exactly what he's doing and doing it by choice.
You would think if one truly loves a person they woud TRY to stop the madness, I would.
The only way he will end up losing is the day he has a heart attack/stroke/or ends up dead.
I wonder why I still feel compassionate towards him, why I miss him and why I know I will keep on missing him when all he probaby will end up doing is really destroying me and my self esteem, which is hardly anything anymore.
This just sucks.
I don't have the "I don't give a sh*t" mentality to just hang out with him during the months that he doesn't use and enjoy the good times.
I want more.
I deserve more.
It would be nice if he would realize that he deserves more than what he's doing to himself and his family.
It's hard to keep my mouth shut and not say anything to him, but I have, and I will.
You guys are great!