LosingmyMisery

That is all he knows. I remember being stuck in the rhetoric of AA. What I really had a hard time adjusting to was the AA speak every second, all of the time. I can understand AA talk at meetings, but why every second of the day? At that time, I didn't want to be reminded that I was an alcoholic every moment of the day. I know it is fact, but recovery is a process and I needed to find a moment of "normal", whatever that was, for a few minutes without having an AA slogan tossed my way. I get it. I can't drink. I don't want to, but please let me have a moment AA free. That really bugged, but passed in time.

After a few years, I started to break away from some of the dogma. I still practice recovery and moved forward, but moved away from AA. Surely some considered me a dry drunk, but I don't care because I know better. I know peace and serenity. My life is not filled with anger and resentments. I don't have a bunch of unnecessary drama which, incidentally, was often found in meetings, not in all meetings, but in my homegroup.

Does not attending meetings make me a dry drunk? No, because I continue to work on my recovery on a daily basis. Remaining angry, stagnant and crotchety, but attending meetings, I'd rather practice my recovery outside of the rooms if that is the case.

Not AA bashing here, but I do have experience inside and outside of the rooms. I can compare, many AA'ers don't have any comparison. They only know what they know. Nothing wrong with that unless I am portrayed as drunk and doomed for finding a way that works outside of the rooms. It can be done, but there was a time I didn't believe so. Once again, that is part of the process. How can you know what you haven't experienced?

I think it is important to have an open line of communication with your sponsor. If that isn't happening, how is he helping? Throwing insults and hurtful words out of frustration or lack of a better word is doing more harm then good. It may be time to re-think your relationship with your sponsor. Good luck.