Don't seem to be able to detach
Hello,
I've been here a couple of times now and find this site very encouraging.
Just wondering if anyone has any good ideas as to how to detach oneself from someone they love dearly.
My boyfriend and unborn childs father is an alcoholic, he admits he has a problem has been into rehab twice and attends AA, to his credit sometimes he really tries. I know it is worng but sometimes I wish he wouldn't even bother trying as everytime he slips back into drinking i get crushed, I feel like he has let me down yet again. I'm sick of feeling hurt and just want to detach.
I have left him once, but he came back promising he wouldn't drink and I took him back. I find it hard to leave again as he keeps telling me he doesn't want to drink anymore and it doesn't seem right to leave when he is giving up. So I stay he fails, drinks again, and I get hurt. I'm so sick of it!
For a while I just got on with my own stuff, but just recently my obstretician put me on bedrest for the baby and i have far too much time to think. I need my boyfriends support and help so I keep him around, but I do wonder whether he is more trouble than he is worth.
Tonight we have had a huge fight over drink so course, he said and did things he has never done before. I then left (when I should be resting) and when I got back he had gone, so now I'm here threating over his welfare and our relationship. I need to rest not worry about this but I just can't detach. I am always angry and also always a fool, I believe him everytime he says he trying to give up only to be lied to, manipulated, bled financially, physically and emotionally dry and abused.
I'm sick of living like this I need some peace. I think if I detached it would be better??? I had been attending alanon until my bedrest and this was helpful, but I still can't master detachment.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks.