Shame is an excuse to hate ourselves today for somethign we did or didn't do in the past. There is no room in a shame-filed mind for the fact that we did our best at the time, no room to accept that as human beings we are bound to make mistakes.
Never until I came into recovery did I realize how much I truly hated myself and felt ashamed of everything about me. Even as I am dealing with the issues with my soon to be ex - I feel shame because I choose to be married to a man for over 16 years that would do these types of things to me.
That is unrealistic shame - this is not my shame to bear. I gave all to a person who I believed was trying to give all to me also - Once I gained the realization that he was not capable to do that and God opened the path to walk away from this unhealthiness - I walked away.
There is no shame in this.
My thinking has been distorted.
Praying this reading helps you as much as it has helped and healed me.
HUGS,
Rita