Originally Posted by
sillysquirrel 
I get that. I just don't get why someone can go from being responsible, honest, fun to be around, true to his word, nurturing, caring, loving, etc. to this ugly monster. Some of my closest friends I have known for 30 years. They are still the same basic person inside. For the most part, people are who they are. I have never witnessed such a downward spiral in a human being's personality. Does anyone get what I am saying??
I get exactly what you are saying. I witnessed the same thing in my husband of 18 years. And I still don't understand it. And I hope I never do, because that would mean I am an alcoholic.
I do know this. Staying focused on why he was like he was, how he could change so much, why he couldn't see the light, did me absolutely no good at all. In fact, it kept me distracted. It allowed me to avoid all those uncomfortable feelings I didn't want to face. It prevented me from doing the hard work of recovery--which I eventually found I had to do anyway. I wasted a good amount of time trying to sort through his stuff, when I would have been better served sorting through my own stuff.
L