And I failed my first test miserably.
hey silk easy does it!
where is the failure?
your boundary was: if he drinks I remove myself.
he didn't drink and so you didn't remove yourself.
he threw you for a loop - now you have a better plan for if that comes up in that way again- but plz give yourself a break-- you are using new tools - they feel awkward and hard to handle at first- but keep trying, keep finding a good fit, and you will get very handy with these tools!
it was compounded by all his other comments that led me to believe he's not fully committed to recovery, but once again trying to 'do the right thing' because of how much it's hurt our relationship (and not because he's truly seen the light)
You can let all this go. Just try to let it go. How or why he is in recovery at any given minute of any given day is his alone to own and handle. 100%. Do not trouble your mind with trying to figure out why he does what he does.
I think you did well---baby steps will still get you where you want to go!
peace,
b