nelco

Hello time to go, my last post was in reply to AGO...,

but as it was the post you wrote that had originally bothered me by the statement...] now you have clarified what you meant I fully respect how you feel and thank you sincerely for posting.

I should explain that I grew up in an alcoholic home, and have two active alcoholic brothers who continue hurt me if I allow them. These guys have admitted they are alcoholics and have tried AA. one of them has been in treatment twice.Their main attacks on me stem from the fact I am in recovery and they feel threatened so they are always trying to put me down, be little me in any way they can.
Other members in my family have serious issues with alcohol as I see it but I cannot call anyone an alcoholic, that is for them to decide. My mother is not really a drinker but she is chief enabler in my house and has had her own battle with my fathers drinking all her marriage. I grew up thinking I would never drink because it caused so much hurt and fear in my life as a child. My mothers behavior had more of a negative effect on me than my fathers drinking, she often flew into incredible rages which left me shaking in my bed. I don't hold any blame today and understand totally what she felt because I ended up married to an alcoholic and was drove to the same distraction. Unfortunately my mother never got recovery. I myself drank socially for a short while before I began drinking at home a lot with my husband and was horrified to find I too could not stop drinking and was in fact an alcoholic.......the very thing I hated the most in my life. I had a horrid road to travel before I finally threw the towel in.
I am very happy in my recovery today, and know lots of healthy recovered alcoholics with long term sobriety, including my husband. One of the hardest things I had to do was remove myself from my birth family ,as I have to protect myself from their sickness and protect my sanity. This was one of the hardest things I ever had to do and many times I wanted to go back in to that circle and ask them why they treat me so badly just because I got recovery ,but I know it would be like banging my head off a brick wall. My family do not have to say anything. a tut, a sigh, a nod here and there speaks volumes and if I challenge this I look like the crazy one. I am learned to walk away. I see the rewards in my son everyday....I do work very hard at my recovery and have reaped the lots of rewards from this. I would hate someone to tar me with the same brush as my very sick brothers, and I guess this is where I was coming from when I responded to your post.
I mean you no harm ...Time to go... and wish you nothing but happiness on your journey in recovery.