Wow, what wonderful insight for Makey to receive! I hope this will help you as you move forward in your relationship. I, too, wish I had the insight and the knowledge before being married to my A. I don't think it would have changed me marrying him but it may have changed how long I have stayed and let myself become entangled.
Nelco, I certainly didn't mean to berate anyone by saying that I no longer want to be in that world. I would never intentionally do that. After rereading my post, I don't think that I explained myself very well. I think Barb did that better by saying........My experiences have led me to decide I will never take the risks I see associated with a relationship with a RA. I am just not willing to put myself in the position of being emotionally/romantically tied to someone who may potentially relapse. I've been through enough personally, emotionally and financially to enter into a relationship with an RA.
I mirror her feelings.
Many many of my friends and family could be considered alcoholics. I'm not sure I know any RA's. And they are wonderful, caring people who I love deeply. As is my husband -- he truly is a wonderful man, just with a really terrible problem.
Makey, I do want to wish you the best in your new relationship. Good for you for wanting to educate yourself and good for him on his sobriety.
take care
Laurie