It is also nice to meet you "The Wife" and to hear what you have to say. My ex has been sober for over 20 years and he advised me not to give money etc. which I really don't have to give being retired, but I recently went back to Massachusetts for 3 months to take care of my sister who had terminal cancer, I left my house key with my neighbor and left specific orders with the office that my son was not allowed access to my home. He never asked for them in fact he has been deliberately avoiding me, but I had to see him the other day and immediately I broke down because he looks like death. He re-assured me that he was ok which I let him know that he wasn't but I did not pursue it and told him I was here if he needed me. It is a totally helpless feeling and I know that I have to get myself together and think of me. These letters have helped immensely and I cannot thank all of you enough.