((TSH)) - I'm a recovering addict with 23 months clean. There are STILL a few things that will trigger my family into questioning whether I'm using or not....if I don't answer my phone, or at least call back in a reasonable amount of time, if I were to go back to the city I used in, etc. I have a friend here, who's husband asked her if she looked in the medicine cabinet at his aunt's house (she is a recovering opiate addict with over 18 months clean). These things hurt us, a bit, but we realize this is just a consequence.
The fact that you hid your drinking from him, in his eyes, still makes him feel like you lied to him. I've been on his side of that situation, and after I found out, I wondered "well, if you hid THAT from me, what ELSE did you hide from me?" Realistic or not, it's how I felt.
I say this, NOT to make you feel guilty, or to justify what he's doing or feeling, only to point out what he may be thinking. I do hope he continues to reach out for support and go to alanon. I had to get a lot of help with my codie issues, along with my recovery support.
Yes, it does take time to earn trust back. But he could also benefit from support in learning how to work through resentments and talking out his feelings with people who understand.
The one thing I DO know, is that everyone would NOT be better off without you. This part of recovery is hard, but it gets better...I promise.
Hugs!!
Amy