Hi New Beginning.......these wise folks have said everything I wanted to share with you. Note my name ViciousCycle.......and it is. I was just like you......I would drink to kill the anxiety and to just function.......but that just started a downhill run......it was always worse after so I would drink again to squelch that feeling......wow. Like Mamabin......I am calm now. I am not feeding the cycle anymore. I was a hammer head, if I can do it, you can too.....you will be amazed how good your mind will feel after the first few days. It is empowering. I hope you can make this life-altering first step. Hang out here, these people are the absolute BEST! They will help you no matter what time of day or night. Post and read!!! We are with you on this!! :ghug