Wow. This sounds just like me!
I'm 40 days sober (YAY ME!) and I was having the same issues. My first call to an AA person was me crying on the phone saying "I don't know why I do this, my life is so great!" You know what she said? "Because it is out of your hands to control your drinking."
I would do the same things and have the same feelings. You'll find most of us have. I'm happy that you are here. Keep reading, you'll learn a lot.