ah thank you so much friends
I thank every single one of you for your replies, I had to jam a moutain of feelings into that post to catch you all up.
In the mean time, ive gone back and read my posts from years ago.
Always struggling repeating the same things.
When I slip into denial and i think God was it really that bad, well I have my answers.
I guess the hardest part is having to rise above the situation and try and do better for my children. And god, it takes strength I never knew I had.
I read a post last night that will stick in my mind.......In my daughter I have the best of him......that really made me look at my children and my husband in a different way. I am saving all of us, including him, by taking our children out of the sick situation.
It's just so hard to be a healthy role model when Im struggling myself, with greif and fear.
And depression,
But I don't want to scare anyone, it has not been the best time in my life.
but I am moving forward, and each day I gain confidence in myself.And I figure things out as they come.
I will make it, because frankly I have no choice.
I thank god.......for you the people in the same shoes.....
And you know, what amazing strength stands in those shoes
thank you all