Hello Molly,
I'm also in love with a cross addict, but I'm happy to say he has almost 6 months clean. Well have a long 7 year history togehter and share a wonderful 5 year old son. When I found out he was using I was already in LOVE with him. I called myself trying to help him, when he didn't want to help himself and I tried to LOVE him when he didn't love himself. When we first met, he told me he was a recovering alcoholic and had 3 months clean, I chose to "stand by my man" it wasn't until several months later when he finally broke down and told me, and when I asked his mother about it, she told me that it was better that I found out myself him. Well throughout those 7 years, he has been in and out of shelters, in and out of programs, we were even engaged once. When I knew that there was NOOOOOO chance of us getting married, stopped wearing the ring and when he knew that I wasn't wearing the ring anymore, he decided to pawn it at a store around the corner from where I lived (I went to that store and saw it in the jewelry case.)
For 3 long years, I left him alone. Just recently he has come back into me & our son's life (that's been at least almost 2 months ago) and he has been clean 5 1/2 months.
Yes Molly it is true that AA & NA asked those who are in recovery NOt to get into a relationship for about 1 year, but we couldn't help ourselves. We know that recovery comes first, so when he needs his space, I give it to him (Although at first I had a real problem with it) but, we're getting through this one day at a time.