Third lapse in less than two weeks
I've been feeling like my partner was a time bomb ready to go off as he hasn't been working the program. He hasn't acted crazy or hasn't appeared to have drank a lot, but a lapse is a lapse. I guess my question will get answered on its own, but I'm wondering how long do I put up with this? I mean, not knowing what I'll find when I come home? Drunk or sober? Sober and angry/cold, mildly drunk and caring? Is it part of the process? Am I just being strung along like an idiot? I've been thinking that if he isn't working the program and continues to lapse, then I need to make other living arrangements. I went to an Alanon meeting last night in which I helped a few newcomers by my words, but when I got home I knew that he had lapsed again and I think lied about going to his AA meeting. I sort of fell apart. In the midst of all the world crises, it seems like he's giving up. He seemed to genuinely feel bad that I got so upset and apologized and says he wants to get better, but at what point do I throw in the towel? I know, I know. The answer is up to me, but it's so frustrating because I'm hurt, scared and confused. I guess I need to let my higher power take over the details of all this, right? I guess I'm having a lapse of my own in MY recovery as well. Thanks everyone.