Re: trying to survive
sometimes we get so caught up in our alcoholic spouse's lives that we forget about us. i lived with alcoholism for 20 years now and when i look back i missed out on so much that I wanted to do for me. the ah never did what i wanted. we always did things around him. i feared getting a job because i wouldn't be there to monitor his drinking. do you think they think about us in this way. they couldn't care less. one day i woke up and said 'hey what about me'. i left my ah. it was hard, very depressing but as i worked on myself and went to alanon and learned about alcoholism, it got easier. now i do what I want. buy what i want. sometimes by myself i go places. its lonely but a lot better than living with alcoholism. with my ah i had to stop and think:is it just the drinking or is it his other qualities i have to deal with. if my ah was more supportive, loving, caring, helpful around the house and kids, financially stable .... i would have made a choice to work with him and stay together, but unfortunately he wasn't any of that so it made my choice easier to leave him. i would you suggest looking at the whole picture not just the alcohol.