Thank you everyone. AH and Freedom I sent you PM's. I can take the 2x4's, but just need to understand them. I just don't understand the 2x4's right now or how I am the one wrong. I know that I cannot hold onto this bitterness/blame forever. It only consumes me and makes my life worse. I don't know if I don't know HOW to let it go - or if I'm not ready to let it go. In reality he's had a shi%%y mother all along. But he's a 38 year old man who had a choice to rise above his childhood. Apparantly he's not chosen that path. I'm pi$$ed off that he's choosing the same route that his dad took. Abandoning his kids. We worked and fought HARD to have kids and I'm left as a single parent.
I'm sitting here in tears right now, just so mad, angry, hurt and bitter. Because of all of this. All of this AH created - I know this. IRL I'm letting him "off the hook" for the last few months because he was blitzed out of his mind. I am not yet able to let his mom off of the hook because in a sense she had "control" of the situation. IRL she did not and now my AH may be kicked out of rehab and we may be without insurance because SHE opened his mail and didn't deem the insurance termination letter as worthy enough to let me know. I'm pi$$ed off because SHe knew of his blitzed out behavior and lied about it all. I'm pi$$ed off because SHE funded his addiction and lied about it.