I need to pay bills. Another thing about my job that sucks. Some bills are bigger than my paycheck so I have tosave until the next one to get enough to pay one bill. I will be alright until I get my check tomorrow and get those bills mailed. Then I will have maybe $40 bucks left. Well make that 20 cause I will put 20 in the tank. I may just go by an MP3 player with my card tomorrow for work. Something I have been wanting. I bought my grams all kinds of **** at the store yesterday. And took her out to eat the other night. Felt good to be able to do that. I usually never have money to do that.
I am holding onto the idea that I havent touched anything in 2009 and I want to keep it tat way. Like if I get high in 2009 that the whole year will be tainted.
My AV is on point just waiting. I can feel it. Like last week. The night I got paid. OMG. I would wake up in the middle of the nioght and automatically look out the window to see if it started snowing yet. Thinking I could get over there and back before it started to snow. That snow storm probably helped me alot last week.
4 weeks and my family will be gone for 10 days to FL.
I already told a couple family members that I am a littl eworried about that. Actually I am really shocked I have made this far. I have never had a good amount of money and had the urge to get high and not gone. I had over $200 for most of the week.
I maybe would have fought the feeling for a day if that. And just gave in like F it. Especially when I am not pressed to pay a bill. Which I am a little. But not to where I am cutting myself short.
Still clenching. And still fighting.
I hate being an addict.
Plus have you guys ever had one of those days where just the stupidest things mess with you all day long. Like everything has to be a complication.
I dont mean one or two things. mean everything. Little things. Like running into stuff...dropping stuff...hurting yourself. Trying to do something and it gets stuck or wont go smooth. Like jsut little stuff that turns into a whole friggin complicate dtask. Well my whole week has been like that. GRRRR..Aggravating!
And the kids got on my nerves tonight so bad., Trying to watch the game and they wouldnt sit down and shut up.
By the way...Yall see that 100 yd return for a touchdown by the Steelers in the 2nd quarter? That was awesome!
Well I am goin to finish watchin\g Tool Academy.