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02-01-2009, 07:03 PM

# 9 (permalink)

ilytoo

Member

Join Date: Feb 2009

Location: Ontario, Canada

Posts: 5

Quote:

Originally Posted by darkhunter76

Hi Everyone, first of all thank you for taking your time in reading my post, it means a lot because I am really at the end of the rope here.
I really don't know how I can summarize my problem but I will try as best as I can.

I had a real rough time with my parents growing up. My dads a stubborn European and my mom..well, she drank. My mom would make me feel embarrassed, guilty, stupid, horrible..all of the above with things she use to yell at me about, but at this time i never realized she had a drinking problem. Through-out the years countless friends or family of friends have asked if my mom has had a drinking problem, but I always thought it was normal to have 2+ glasses of wine when we go out...It never hit me or maybe I was in denial..that seeing my mom never drink anything else then wine or other alcohol was abnormal until recently.

It's gotten worse over the past year, I come home and she sometimes can't even put her sentences together when she talks, or she tells me things she's told me before because she can't remember what she said the night before. Crazy mood swings, broke the door window once..She humiliated me and accused me of being "obsessive" of my boyfriend Right in front of him, she's gone off to his parents house after finding out we were sexual and told them it was my fault while guzzling back wine.. It has gotten to the point where I don't want to be around her. I get so annoyed when she's around.

My father has tried to talk to her but that hasn't changed anything. She tried to stop for 2 weeks but that didn't last long because as soon as 1 bottle of wine was put in that fridge it was gone in a heartbeat. I gave her my support and knew it would be a hard road but had faith in her...now it's just gone. My younger sister gets upset about it but drifts away from my mom even more. Recently I found a huge stash of alcohol in her office. 3 bottles of wine, two empty, and 6 bottles of Heineken beer, 3 empty.

It hurts me so much that I have finally accepted the fact that she has a problem and that it has put a huge scar on my childhood forever with every tear I cried because of what my mom did or said to me. I don't know what to say to her...and to make matters worse she is taking High BP medication but i highly doubt her doctor knows she's drinking and I just googled all of them and they are all effected by alcohol intake.

A part of me just wants to ignore her and let her deal with it herself. I don't drink because of her, and I don't plan on her taking care of my children in the future if she still has this problem. She always goes on about other peoples problem but thinks hers is no biggy.

I just feel hopeless and I dont want to make this all about me but it's effecting my family as well. Should I tell our family doctor? I don't ever get this off my chest, I don't want to put this on my boyfriends shoulders or any of my friends so this is my only place.

If anyone has any opinions or suggestions please share..I don't know anymore.

Hi people..thanks for replying to my sisters post up there...this is obviously her little sister; What she has said about our mom making us feel embarrassed, guilty, stupid, horrible and basically all of the above, I've gone through it all.

I'm really confused...sometimes, if she asks me to come shopping with her... it's hard to deny, with all the kinds of drinking she's been doing i don't know what her reaction would be: crying, screaming...i don't know. There's other times when she's just so...drunk.. that she doesn't know what she's saying, i joke around and it turns into some huge argument, just like whatever i said just flipped around in her head and...came out totally wrong. She complains about not being as close as other mothers and daughters... i finally open up to her, but whenever my turn comes to talk to her about something she's there pouring wine down her throat like it was some...party or something. I don't like it... i don't like it at all... i just wanna leave, but there's no possible way of leaving if i come back to the exact same thing.

I don't know how to help, i pray...still thinking of all the times she has put me through such disgrace, it's not right..and I'm clueless.

My dad doesn't help, he just sneaks her the alcohol when me and my sis aren't looking.
That stash that my sister found...doesn't fix anything, just leaves more questions in need to be answered.
It's hard to say... i've talked to my best friend about it, she's the shoulder i need when i'm overly upset and literally need to just bawl my eyes out or just to keep me hanging on and to believe there's hope... but is there hope?

My sister has picked up most of the points...just my point of view here,
I'm just asking for help, like i said i want to leave but, i know my mom will over react...while guzzling back her freakin' wine that i just wanna blow up and take away from her forever. She's a delinquent i admit...but i don't like to admit it...at all.

It might not exactly hit me as much as my sister but, i'm not looking forward to what my mom will do to me in the future.
I feel like so guilty when she's like this and it's not right, the way she makes me feel...just doesn't work.
And yes, it has been getting worse in the past year, and it's gotten to a point where...help is really needed.

That's all i have to say.

Thank you for reading this.