Joined - Congratulations to you. We all love hearing about people working their recovery.
keep working your recovery and who knows maybe he'll see how your life is changing for the better and want to feel that way too. If he makes your own recovery hard then please reconsider how much contact you should have.
As for your wife, that's got to be hard for her to loose someone she relies on. One thing believe strongly in is never taking advice from someone who isnt more knowledgeable on a subject than me. We can share and get ideas when we're going through similar things together but if someone else isnt willing to work on themselves then i would be hesitant because their advice might not be too sound. My ex is an alcoholic, abandoned his son, has no job, no driver's license, lives off his gf and he's always trying to give me (and everyone else) parenting advice. no thank you.