Welcome to the forum and please post often. I have lived with an A for 24 years and can imagine what you are going through. (Just put mine out in June). I was very scared when I first started the process but I am starting to do GREAT on my own. (I should also say I have 3 teens so that is not so alone)I never gave ultimatums that I was not prepared to back up so when I said the big D word I meant it. He had been through rehab twice and both times were not because he wanted to so of course he lapsed. Of course I am not receiving child support cause to him this means he has no responsibilities now so he can drink and smoke dope ALL day. Please tell us more of your story or just use this to vent. (Which I do a LOT) It sure feels good and you will hear from some VERY good people here who are not judgmental and know what you speak. Take what you can use and leave the rest. Good luck!