True or false? You can't help an alcoholic that doesn't want help?
I try to be positive and I'm usually pretty successful at it, but I'm thinking the answer is - True. My wife and I have a very good, close friend that is about to turn 36 and has been drinking since 16. He was fired from a good job 3 years ago and has been living off a large sum of money he saved and more that he inherited. Plus he's living in his mother's house. He's ashamed that he's not worked for so long and he knows he's alcoholic but he doesn't want to change. Oh sure, he'll say he needs to get his drinking "under control" but you know that doesn't work. He's been getting worse and worse. The longer he goes without work the less people he talks too because he can't answer the "what have you been up to?" question any more. He used to have dozens and dozens of friends.
I notice how bad he is more now that I'm 6 months sober myself, but it's not just that. He's worse. We're both worried that he's going to pay one of the ultimate prices. Death. DUI. Jail.
To compound the issue, my wife is bipolar or very close to it, and we've been having marriage issues for about 18 months. Our friend, let's call him Greg, has been one of very few people that she can turn too for a sounding board and it has helped her through a very rough time. Now, he's the opposite. There is nothing going on between them, that's not the issue. He is letting her down now, doesn't remember conversations or entire days etc. etc. Just when she and I are making some progress, his situation sends her off into depression.
Greg is/was very intelligent, caring, giving, can fix almost anything mechanical and was somewhat of a local freelance unpaid therapist. People come to him for advice all the time.....well they used to be able to on any given day up until the time of night/day when he got "too drunk". Now no one bothers. He buys Captain Morgan by the gallon regularly.
Anyway, I'm off track here. It's bad. He's bad. He knows it. But doesn't want to change. Do we just wait to be there to help pick up the pieces? Can we help him bottom out quickly without dying if that's what it's going to take? We could abandon him and he'd keep drinking so I don't think we're the enablers. Only see him once a week at the very most.
Any ideas or advice? Thanks.