They feel so much more comfortable with their own. Although we love them to death, in the end, most of us become the enemy. We get in their way. I have told my ex a thousand times, they are not your friends! If they were your friends, why do you have to come back here to borrow money! Where are your FRIENDS now? And, no response, just give me the money. His friends were users, just like him, users in every conceivable way. It's odd though how they protect one another in almost an honorable way. Mine went to the extent of buying a tape recorder and taping one of our fights after he went on a three day binge, just to prove to his new girl how hard life was on him and how bad he had it. Now that's low, but inventive.
Go with your gut and then look at what you can and cannot do. Take the emphasis off her and take care of yourself. I know it's hard, but sometimes it's not even a choice. Life for all of us who have been tainted by drugs and the people we love has been so heart breaking. But I believe that HP has put us here for a reason, and this person we love, for a reason.
Sorry to rant, I know you know this already. Maybe I am just grieving a bit tonight myself. Hugs!