So we've talked a little about what I was feeling and he seemed to understand. Tonight we will go out on a date for the first time in....I cant remember.... Im excited but nervous, I dont want to get my hopes up about connecting, hes not exactly the romantic type. I did tell him he had to bring me a flower though... For the most part I am trying to concentrate on myself but man it was so much easier to be drunk and blame him for my unhappiness....ughhh how pathetic. Then I didn't have to actually live my life I could sit back and say, see its all your fault I'm miserable, NOW CHANGE. Bet this post makes me seem like an @ss and that's because I am when I drink to much. This was not supposed to be a "Confessions of an @ss: What really happens when you get drunk every night" With that I will close....