Old 01-26-2009, 07:25 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
gneiss
Never settle.
 
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Under immense pressure
Posts: 1,505
I think it probably works differently for everyone, and for each substance that person takes. I have a friend who goes through periods of time when he uses heavily, and then just stops when he thinks enough is enough. His theory is that in most cases (except some extreme examples when physical addiction takes over) its a matter of "manning up" (sorry, we're kinda redneck here) and telling yourself you've been an idiot long enough and it's time to clean up. I've done well with this approach. I had a little chat with myself (if that doesn't make me sound crazy!!): "Party's over, kiddo. You can't do grad school and drugs/alcohol. Do you want to be a loser or have a productive life?"

I choose this mindset because I am not powerless over alcohol and drugs. I made some bad decisions though, and forgot that I am in charge. I let alcohol run things for a while, and then meth. Eventually I feel like I MIGHT be able to drink socially, and if not I at least need to be comfortable around alcohol because I've never seen a group of more prolific drinkers than when geologists get together. I can't be one of those people who can't be in the same room with alcohol because it would kill my career. Every dinner, conference, and convention I've attended has alcohol available and geology is a social profession. You could randomly be sitting next to the person you collaborate with or the person in charge of funding your next project, and alcohol greases the wheels. Not that this is the only profession where this exists. So my main goal, whether I ever take another drink or not, is to be able to behave myself around alcohol.

As for the drugs, I don't know that I would ever be able to use again. I don't think I want to because it's a little too much fun, the lure is too strong for me. Is it weird to admit that? It seems like most reformed druggies won't admit it. In the long run it costs too much personally and financially, and eventually you will get caught. But d@mn.... being high is fun. If it weren't, no one would do it. I see a lot of posts to that same effect regarding alcohol. Different substances affect us all in different ways, and alcohol just does not draw me in like drugs do. It used to, but once I started drugs alcohol became secondary. The main problem for the moment is that when I start drinking I start to want drugs again, and if years down the road I decided to try drinking again, I wonder whether I would want drugs again. One drink is enough to make me want the drugs, but not enough to go get them. Even if the lure of drugs is not as strong some day, I know how fast I got hooked last time and I don't think it would be a good thing for me to do.
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