Oh, odds... I'll bet there's somebody out there with statistics to throw at you. Unfortunately, we don't live with statistics, but with the individuals who make up those statistics. If someone could tell you for sure that of 10 alchoholics, 2 would recover spontaneously, 4 would seek counseling and three of those would relapse (2 more or less permanently), 4 would go to AA or another recovery program with more or less the same results, making a total of 4 recoveries... you still wouldn't know which group your addict was going to fall into. Statistically speaking. You just have to trust your guts. After 5 years of continued difficulty, your guts seem to be saying "enough already".
Sure, some addicts "come around". The moderator of the NA page, Pernell, is living proof. You, however, are under no obligation to stick around and see how the story ends. Especially if the chapters seem repetitive.
You have to do what you have to do for yourself. Recovery happens from the inside out. You won't make or break your husband's future by staying, or by leaving. He's the only one that can change himself, and he's the only one that can find the motivation. But you have the capcity to make your own future, and the right to decide how you want to go about it.
I couldn't keep waiting for the miracle. You don't have to either.
I wish you strength, whatever you decide.
Smoke
<small>[ May 27, 2002, 11:32 AM: Message edited by: smoke gets in my eyes ]</small>