Hello again Skeptical....
Oh, shucks ma'am, it weren't nuthin'.... Really.
You were ready for something to give. The fact that you were making deadlines (even far away ones) in your head showed that you were just about at the end of your rope. You just needed to give yourself permission to act. It sounds like this was your turning point. I hope it is also your husband's.
I'm guessing you didn't precisely mean that it is no longer necessary for you to worry about his feelings, (because you have to worry about your own). I'm glad you've gotten to the point where you understand that you cannot bend to his desires to the exclusion of your own... that your needs are always as important as his, and sometimes should take precedence. BUT... you have chosen for the time being to stay in the relationship... which always requires compromise. It is wrong that you have been the only one compromising up to this point. But I'm sure you realize that simple give and take keeps relationships strong. For a change you will not be the ONLY one giving.
Now about that hiking trip. While your husband is making these major life changes he's going to be a little extra sensitive, and he sounds like an insecure type anyway. Maybe you could take a girlfriend along instead of spending the afternoon alone in the woods with another man. No sense in pushing his panic button. I tried to put myself in his shoes on that one and came to the conclusion that I would find the situation challenging. As a matter of fact, you could probably aim me at Afghanistan and save a couple of bombs. Just a thought.
Smoke