Wow, I have to thank you, Smoke. I finally had enough and had yet another talk with my husband last night. I told him I am not happy and I don't think I can live this life another day. I didn't give him any ultimatums or tell him what to do, i just told him what I need to do. I told him I was considering moving back to Minnesota where my family is. He said he would go anywhere I want. I told him I was tired of taking care of him and being at his beck and call. I told him I am tired of asking for his permission to go out with friends and I told him I was tired of coming home every night so that he would have a drinking buddy. I realized that I can call ALL the shots because he needs me more than I need him. For the first time I realized that I don't need to worry about his emotions and his needs because I need to worry about my own. I don't know why I felt I couldn't demand to have my needs met. It was a long argument/discussion, but in the end we ended up on the same page. He now understands that I am going to be his wife and live with him, but that I am going to have my own life.. starting today. I feel sooooo free and happier with him than I have been in years! Thanks for setting me straight!