Thank you for your reply. Twice in the last 5 years my husband said 'I'm an alcoholic' and last April, he said he thought he might need AA, but came up with some excuse to not go. Now, he is saying that all of his depression, and problems stem from work and me (the misunderstanding wife, ball and chain, etc.) Since April, he has just been drinking beer and wine. You know as well as I do, that there is no difference...it's still alcohol. He knows that if he verbally abuses me again, that he will have to leave. I told him, that it is not healthy for me and the girls(we have 3 daughters) to be subjected to that. So Sunday, Sept. 9, he told me that he would not drink again since it has caused so much problems in our marriage, and that it is not worth drinking. During the week's time that he wasn't drinking, I did notice that he was pale at times, his stomach was upset, and had something like anxiety attacks. He also told me that he didn't want to be around people, and that he felt 'broken'. Well, I knew that the week of sobriety wouldn't last...even though I know he meant it at the time, he started again tonight. When he called me on the phone I could tell before he told me that he is 'drinking beer and eating peanuts'. He has a attitude when he drinks, so that's how I could tell. I still responded nicely, but he is so unaffectionate, and so cold. This is hard for me to accept, because this man use to think I hung the moon. He made me feel so very special, and lack of affection is very difficult for me to get through. Somedays, like this rainy one in Illinois, I grieve for the loss of my 'real' husband. I miss him.
Jane