Thread: Detaching
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Old 04-20-2004, 07:21 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Magichappens
Dancing To My Own Beat
 
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: I don't know what kind of state I'm in
Posts: 1,326
Re: Detaching

Hey Dazimae,
First, the alcoholic's recovery is theirs. We didn't cause it, we can't cure it, and we can't control it. But we can stop contributing to it. There are no guarantees of sobriety, no matter how much they get. That is why detachment is so important. Relying on someone else for our happiness is a sure bet we will not be happy. The Alanon program is designed to help us find our own self. I always believed that if I could make the people in my life happy, I would be ok. What I finally realized is that I don't have the power to make someone else happy if they can't make themself happy. I can appease someone, I can do what they want, but it never seemed to be enough, and I always felt like a failure. Now I know I am not responsible for some one else's actions, decisions, or consequences. I have learned to focus on my actions, decisions, and consequences. The alanon literature, and meetings has helped me to be able to detach with love. I needed a lot of help to do it. Thank goodness there was a lot of help available. Hugs, Magic
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