Originally Posted by
spooner 
I understand the disease but how many relapses do you put up with. When is it enough. When do you pull the plug.
I spent a lot of time floundering around in "When is enough, enough?" land.
I kept thinking that there was some rule that everyone else knew - like, say, 4 relapses and that's it. He'll never get better. You should pack up the kiddos and get out of there.
But, there's no rule.
I found that when I started to actively participate here on SR, attend AlAnon, read books that fed my spirit (Codependent No More, The Power of Now, etc..), and participate in individual counseling, I discovered my own rules. And I
knew when enough was enough.
I didn't have to question it and doubt it and wonder. It was clear.
I think the one of the reasons I needed to find my own recovery was that recovery helped me find my voice and my certainty about what I wanted in my life. It doesn't happen overnight - it takes time. That was hard for me to accept when my husband's drinking was so out of control. I wanted things to get better QUICK.
But alcoholism doesn't get better quick. And it takes time for loved one's to learn about healthy boundaries and to rebuild self-esteem.
You can do it.
I'm glad that you're here - keep posting and reading!
-TC